TEMNEM (Part 2)

-Story in installments-

Everything began with one simple thought.

1. Paralysis

I listen and wait.

With my eyes closed, I hope the danger has passed.

The noise produced by my attackers fell silent the moment I closed my eyes. That of course does not mean the danger has passed. Inside myself I feel pounding, beating, accelerating.

My thoughts are stirring, not allowing me to grasp them and become aware of them. Like a whirlpool that quickly slips away, not allowing even the slightest chance to catch and tame it. And then nothing. A great emptiness. The thoughts are gone and left desolation.

At this moment I hear nothing, see nothing, feel no smell. The sense of taste undefined, for reasons I do not have to explain. The sense of touch… well, I cannot move! Horrified by this realization, I frantically try to open my eyes. It doesn’t work. My eyelids seem sealed, standing immovably. I felt like in some kind of balloon (am I the balloon?) waiting to explode.

Some time passed. I became aware of one thing. I breathe. It must be so, although I do not feel any stimuli, the air even if I inhale it, due to total paralysis, I do not feel.

Inside myself I scream at the top of my lungs, but no sound. I must calm down.

What is the one thing I certainly know I can do? To think. Will thoughts pull me out of this situation?

And then another cold shower. I do not remember how I ended up in this situation. What preceded this, where was I, what was I doing? My name has also disappeared, who am I at all?

All that remains is to get out of this trouble with my mind.

2. Pain

I start from the beginning. I learn from mistakes. I quickly forget everything I learn. Memory fades with such speed that if I do not stop a thought, it inevitably goes into irreversibility.

Finally I found a way. I will repeat every new piece of knowledge I reach. It will be exhausting but I will succeed. I know I will.

A fight for life. If I forget and fail to find a way to remember, emptiness will eat me and take me with it into nothingness.

I breathe and think. I breathe and think. I breathe and think. While I repeated those words, a new truth came to light. I live. Therefore, I breathe, I think and that is why I live.

It is unclear to me what is pounding below me. I cannot hear it, but I feel the strikes, unpleasant ones. Does that mean I exist below as well and not only in this place where I persistently repeat – I breathe, I think and therefore I live.

I exist in two places at the same time or in one but in a slightly larger space. I must simplify that definition so it is as short as possible. Space. I breathe, I think and therefore I exist in space.

The next dilemma was – do only I exist, or does something outside of me also exist? Independent existence would be very sad and unfair. I want to share existence with someone or something. Others.

I breathe, I think and therefore I exist in space with others.

If I share space with others, that means there must be a way to communicate with them or interact in other ways. Silence subtly whispered to me that communication cannot be only through thoughts. Movements.

I breathe, I think and therefore I exist in space with others with the help of movement.

Movements are certainly established by my extended part that is located below the thoughts, where that pounding I feel becomes stronger and stronger.

All remaining mental strength I concentrated on movements, constantly repeating how I breathe, think and therefore exist in space with others with the help of movement. Those two mental actions were next to each other. They must be, one is concentration and the other is repetition so I would not forget.

Maybe I am wrong, but obviously some form of duality must exist. If I stand, then I can move. Forgetting and remembering. Breathing and not breathing. Me and others.

All of this is exhausting. I feel some unpleasant stimulus. Right in front of my thoughts. The stimulus becomes stronger, causing discomfort that I did not know how to explain. If only I could remember. I will call it pain. That word seems familiar to me, from somewhere.

I breathe, I think and therefore I exist in space with others with the help of movement and pain.

I am progressing. And pain is progressing as well, discovering something fascinating. The contours of my physical existence in space. I cannot feel pain where I do not exist. I accept pain and want it. It gives me the boundaries of my existence.

3. Branching Parts

I established my contours. Pain spread everywhere, precisely determining how much of me there is. Although it became unbearable and unbearable, I rejoiced in it. It makes me physically alive.

It was time to make the next step. Step. That is the movement I must make. Space exists forward, backward, left and right(my conclusion – it does not have to be correct). If I stand now, the step must be in one of those directions. It does not matter which, I only want it to happen.

A slight twitch down right. Vibration. I touched something. Myself, in two places. That is the movement I needed. I focused on that place, forcing it with my thoughts to continue moving.

What I have learned so far about my physical existence:

– Above are the thoughts. Around those thoughts there is a circular physical part of me.

– Immediately below there is a small bridge, not large, which connects the upper part with the lower part.

– The lower part consists of five parts. The central, the largest, that is where the pounding and beating happens.

– From that central part left and right branch two parts, smaller and narrower.

– The same applies below the central part, two narrower parts that go downward.

That is where my physical existence ends.

The goal is to make the parts move. That is possible only with thoughts. I must convince the physical part to move.

The twitching became more frequent.

The left and right branching parts were now already flailing everywhere. It was time for the lower parts to be put to work.

My physical shape suddenly dropped down, onto the place of the lower branching parts. I cannot flail them like the left and right parts without something happening. As I dropped down, I felt some resistance. That is another space that touched mine. That is proof that other things exist, that I am not alone. Happy because of the discovery, I began even stronger to flail the left and right parts, searching for new spaces.

A new dimension of pain. While flailing I came into contact with other spaces. During contact pain appeared on the left and right branching parts.

Meanwhile, without any announcement, in the upper part, approximately in the middle, as if a part of me opened, actually two parts, small ones. They draw in air.

That is proof that I breathe. During breathing I was bringing into myself something besides air, something not very pleasant. I cannot comprehend what that is. (Smell?) Soon I became aware of another part. A bigger one. It was drawing in much larger quantities of air. Happy because of progress, I pushed my limits even stronger.

The lower branching parts were still useless to me. I did not understand how they functioned.
But the left and right ones, coming into contact with spaces, opened views in the form of shapes and space around me. Some spaces were smaller, some larger. Some caused stronger pain, some even pleasure.

Some time passed, until I finally found a way to move forward. The left and right parts touched an exit. The only shape that differs from everything around. (Door?)
If I push them forward nothing happens. Left and right also give no results. Maybe it is necessary to pull the small extended shape below. Yes. It started. Mixing of happy thoughts and those that show fear. What was I afraid of? Well everything is better than this curse.

4. “B”

A flash of memory. For a moment everything returned, catching the mind unprepared to receive a mass of information. The moment passed and took most of it back into forgetting. But some information I managed to keep.

In my head there was an image of an enormous water surface in front of me. A person desperately tried to grab onto something so the current would not take them with it. I stretch out my hand to help in that. I grab their hand, which slowly slips from my grip. In the end the person inevitably goes into the nothingness of the dark water but in my hand remains a small object, circular in shape. The object was smooth, of fine material to the touch, with something written on the surface. I brought the object closer to see what was written. “B”.

Maybe the person did not want me to save them but to hand me the object that should tell me something. The letter B.

Returning to reality, suddenly, the discomfort became unbearable.
Multiple negative stimuli at once.
The sudden possibility to use my existence fully.
Concepts that I used descriptively now received names.
Eyes. Mouth. Nose. Ears. Heart. Hands. Legs. Fingers.

_{^{Try to imagine the establishment and then the physical reaction of all senses in the same second. Suddenly opening your eyes after a long time of darkness. Noise after long silence. Pain that replaces the bliss of comfort. Unpleasant smells after neutrality. The taste of internal secretions that stayed in the mouth for a long time, unnoticed. All of that in the same second. That is what I was experiencing.}}

Eyes that upon opening saw a bright white light, then quickly closed again. I needed some time to come to myself. Thoughts, if there were any, crouched in some corner, observing and allowing me to deal with the given situation.

After some time, each time gradually, opening my eyes in small steps, I finally managed to see the contours of the world around me. I was looking toward the door. Right hand on the handle with fingers that could not form a grip.

I turned behind me. Five very happy persons were running toward me, arms wide open, producing inarticulate sounds. Sounds that as if were never before formed into words. Which are only now learning the emotion they need to articulate into certain words.

The horror I felt before returned, seeing the same scene. The choice was to face them who seemed threatening. Or return to nothingness. I will not return to the darkness.

5. Number 100

It turned out there was no reason for fear. It was not an attack but a sign of welcome, uncontrolled, loud, somewhat twisted, strange but finally pleasant. My new “friends”, colleagues, companions, hugged me, while patting me on the shoulders, maybe a bit stronger than desirable.

The introduction could not go further than the letters written on the notes attached to their robes. Two letters K, two letters L and the letter T.

Girl K joyfully handed me an empty note, with a questioning look forcing me to write my letter. B, I must start like that.

“Welcome B, our savior. How happy we are to see you. Number 100, finally!” – said girl K, the only female in that small society.

“How do you mean savior, from what?” – I asked.

“Well from what else? It is generally known that number 100 will solve the question of the Anomaly and neutralize it. That is written in…” – she stopped turning toward the others. Silent looks.

“Never mind, it is written somewhere, probably that book is in the Library. We could find it. H surely knows which book that is, she is responsible for the Library.”

After explaining to them why and how I came to Temnem, they realized that I do not have so many possibilities and knowledge to free them from there, except pure desire and will. But their optimism did not fade.

“You will find a solution, we are not worried.” – said the only T in the group.

Woman K established herself as my mentor, someone who will introduce me through the internal structure of the complex.

“I am specialized for the Being, the door through which you passed. Do not worry, I know quite well also Was and Is. But leave that now. Soon Reset comes, we must return to our rooms. Time for sleep. You do not want to remain in the corridors when Reset starts. Not at all.” – said K.

“And what if I still stay?” – I asked.

She looked at me shocked, put a finger on her mouth as a sign that I must not even speak about it and pointed with her hand the direction in which one goes toward the dormitories.

Reluctantly, wanting to learn everything at once, I followed her and the others.

A sigh of relief and peace escaped from my existence. I survived a nightmare. Maybe I entered a new one. But certainly less horrible than the previous one.

And everything began with one simple thought.

-End of Part 2-