SEE YOU NEVER

Something has died and something new is not born

The grey sky was streaked with black clouds, making the scene gloomy and mournful. I sat on the sandy shore looking at the sea as black as the darkest night. Calm, without a single wave, even the smallest one. It was so undisturbed that it seemed as if frozen. Warm air, streaked with high air humidity. A harsh sulfur odor stung my nostrils and forced bitter tears to my eyes. On the sky from time to time appeared bubbles that looked like balloons inflating to a certain point, then bursting, releasing a piercing explosive sound that would startle anyone unaccustomed. Not me, I have surpassed that moment. I have been here for… I don’t know how long.

There were no colors, not in the spectrum in which they exist. Only grey and black. The grey color represented a contrast to the black, which made the whole situation and scene psychologically very heavy. In the distance from an unknown source a muffled sound that continuously lasted all the time. Ears get used to it so they stop noticing until you become conscious that the frequency is not calm like only silence knows how to produce.

I was not alone. On the shore there were many people. Of different genders, ages and skin colors. When I say colors, again, I mean only the two I have already mentioned. Nobody wanted to talk to me. It wasn’t because of me. Nobody talked to anyone. I tried, first softly, then louder and louder. I screamed in people’s faces around me, shook their shoulders. Their gazes remained calm, mouths mute, not wanting or not being able to acknowledge my presence. Truly, it seemed to me that everyone was some kind of living dolls, without any reactions to the outside world. That only I was real or at least eager for some connection. After an undefined passage of time and terrible boredom you become eager for company, no matter how asocial you were or hated people. It is a need, to at least from time to time exchange a word or two with someone.

When you are isolated for so long you remain alone with your thoughts and memories. The fact that the thoughts were focused only on existential elements horrified me, and there were no memories. Truly, I don’t remember how I came here, when, nor why. I don’t even know what this place is. I checked reality, looked at my hands in order to establish if I was dreaming. No, hands and palms were there, tangible, visible, painfully cold. Another way of checking reality was not possible to fulfill since I didn’t see any text nor inscription. Either way, one method was enough, this is not a dream.

Walking was breaking the monotony and dullness. Every now and then I would crisscross the beach up and down. First I would touch the sea with my hand without causing its reaction. The cold surface would snap me back a bit, as if a pleasant amount of electrical energy flows through my body, the kind that doesn’t kill, only reminds. Then I would start a walk of undefined length, during which in passing I would look at all the inhabitants of this sandy desert. This time I left my footwear by the sea. The sand was pleasantly cold, relieving me at least a little bit from the insufferable heat that unpleasantly stung my already dried skin.

People were standing upright, looking towards the horizon, the place where the sea and the sky merge, in an attitude of expectation. I would observe their faces while walking, noticing that everyone has that expressionless look, unblemished by any thoughts. Trance, deadness. Frozen gazes fixed on a point that probably represented some comfort to them.

***

Do I see… Yes, some man is sitting with his face buried in his hands. Crying? Recovering from shock?

“Hey.” – was the only thing I uttered with a little effort. For a long time I hadn’t passed a single word over my lips.

From his hands emerged the face of a handsome, young man, directing a tired look at me. He sees me! Finally, someone!

“Give me a moment please.” – he extends a hand to me so I can help him pull himself up.

Stooped, he put his hands on his knees and deeply inhaled and exhaled a few times. Finally straightening up, he directed a warm smile at me. His clothes somewhat messy, torn in a few places then sewn together, where the patches were black and the fabric of the clothes grey, gave off simultaneously the impression of the passage of time and something very surreal. The reason lay in the fact that everyone on the beach had clothes that breathed freshness and recency.

“Glad that we finally meet, my name is…Well, you can call me Sim, so we don’t complicate.” – he extends a hand to me which I gladly accept.

“My name…”

“You can’t remember, I know.”

“You know? How so?”

“We will get to that, we have all the time in the world.” – he laughed loudly putting his hands on my shoulders. Those words of his caused in me a hopeless sadness mixed with quiet despair.

We walked for some time in silence while the tension of uncomfortable silence spread through the space around us. I was thinking about how to shape short questions, due to the inability to speak long sentences. I was hoping that, now when I have someone to talk to, the atrophy of my speaking abilities would soon disappear.

“Who are you?”

“Hmmm, nobody really. In your understanding of personality I don’t belong to any pattern.” – he looked at me, realizing that my silence was not an expression of rudeness, just inability.

“Do you want us to switch to communication by thoughts? It will be easier for you.”

I nodded my head, not knowing what specifically he meant.

A bubble in the sky bursts, startling my new friend a little bit.

Oh, another year passed.

Another year? – Oh, it really is easier to communicate by thoughts, it feels more natural.

Every explosion in the sky marks the passage of a year on Earth. It is not accidental that this element was inserted here, it is specialized for you. With everyone something is special, to some the howling of wolves represents the passage of years, to others the hooting of an owl.

You want to say that I have been here for thousands of Earth years already? – I didn’t count, the number is maybe much higher.

Exactly fourteen thousand six hundred twenty-two years, three months, seven days, seventeen minutes and thirty-two seconds if you want to be precise.

From his pants pocket he pulls out a cigarette case and offers me a cigarette. With trembling hands I took one, while in my head a storm of thoughts raged. I have been here for so long already? What to do with that information, how to feel about it? The absence of a reaction that would be triggered in any normal person frightened me. To me it only triggered a panic and clumsy reaction.

Just shake the cigarette and it will light up, a lighter is not needed.

Unaccustomed to smoking, I coughed after the first puff.

What is happening on Earth? – I asked, now already knowing that I was not talking to some ordinary man. He was some other being, maybe divine.

Oh, there is no one there. Nature took the upper hand, it is restoring itself, as many times so far. People mutilated the planet so much that the time came for a reset. Sorry, I have to speed this up a little. As much as I enjoy this conversation with you, I’m afraid we have to get to the point. I’ve done only a third of the beach. And at home a book is waiting for me that I just can’t get to read. And flowers that need to be watered. The flowers are thirsty too. – he said in a gloomy tone streaked with a tired smile.

I was afraid of this, I was very afraid. Still, I gave him a sign to continue and get to the point, deep inside myself knowing that it won’t be pleasant at all. I felt it, my whole body was ringing vibrationally like never before.

Two explosions in the sky followed in a short interval. Time is speeding up,

You are in hell. Not the physical one, that doesn’t exist, not the way they present it. This is the hell of your mind, which is shutting down. All of this that you see is a creation of your mind, there are no colors because in your lives you didn’t appreciate colors. Beauty, goodness. You chose the dark side, stole, killed, did all kinds of possible and impossible deeds. Every new chance that was offered to you, you scornfully rejected, arriving at the moment when there is no cure for you anymore. Your bodies have rotted long ago, your soul is compromised to such an extent that a huge part had to be recycled and that speck in which there was still light left was connected with the Source. We for such as you colloquially say that they sold their soul to the Devil. Alright, I’ll give you a little time to process all of this. – he finished his mini monologue seeing that I was losing my breath.

Panic, despair, horror, hopelessness that overcame me forced me to fall to my knees. So that’s it. The end.

I repent for everything I have done! – I let out a thought after some time.

You are confusing repentance and fear. You are afraid of death, you don’t care about your deeds. You don’t even remember what you did. Understandable, if it was important to you, you would have repented sincerely.

But I don’t want to die.

Oh, you died long ago. Only your mind remained. Look at this as a lightbulb that you will have to turn off at some point. And then darkness. No more. So that everything isn’t so black, I have one good news. You can stay here as long as you want and you will be “alive”. But everyone turns off the light in the end, without exception. When the sad truth is communicated to them it becomes much harder to stay here.

These people around us, are they like me, minds of long dead people or just projections of my mind?

Projections, you created them so you wouldn’t be alone. But hell didn’t let you have communication with them, making the situation truly sad. You can consider me the finally accepted truth, that would be my closest description.

He waited for me to get up on my feet, so seeing that it won’t happen anytime soon he broke the silence.

That would be it, Sam, John, Beth, not to mention all your names, it would take a while. When you are ready just lie down on the sand and close your eyes. That way will be the most painless. Farewell. I can’t really say that it was a pleasure. See you never.

I watched him as he moved away, gradually shrinking in the distance.

***

The beach was emptying slowly but surely. One by one they were disappearing. When the last person/projection of my mind disappeared from the beach I knew it was time.

I lay down, for the last time running my hands through the sand. Pleasant coldness in the constant heat.

I turned off the light.

-End-